Rufe Cire Haɗin kai tsakanin Mata Kai da Abokin Hulɗa

Wadatacce

• Muhimmancin Karatun Jima'i
• Dalilin Da Ya Sa Kamar Wasu Mutane Suna Jin daɗin Yin Jima'i Fiye Da Ku

Muna da tazarar inzali. Matan jinsi-jinsi na jinsi suna da karancin inzali fiye da na maza jinsi-maza. A matsayin misali mai ban mamaki, a cikin binciken da na gudanar, 55% na maza a kan 4% na mata sun ce galibi suna yin inzali yayin saduwa ta farko. Wasu bincike sun nuna cewa wannan gibin yana raguwa, amma baya rufewa gaba ɗaya, a cikin jima'i. Studyaya daga cikin binciken ya gano cewa 85% na maza vs. 68% na mata sun ce sun yi inzali a lokacin misalinsu na ƙarshe na jima'i.

Cikin Zama Cliterate, Ina nazarin dalilai da yawa na al'umma don wannan gibi - gami da, a matsayin misali ɗaya kawai, ilimin jima'i wanda baya ambaton jin daɗi ko ɗanɗano. Daga nan na samar da mafita don rufe gibin, a al'adance (misali, ingantaccen ilimin jima'i; canjin yare) da kaina (misali, tunani, kyakkyawar sadarwar jima'i). Wata mafita ta tsakiya da aka ba da shawara ita ce tabbatar da cewa mata suna samun irin wannan ƙarfafawa yayin kai da abokin tarayya. Ina gaya wa masu karatu:

Mafi mahimmancin aikin da ake buƙata don yin inzali yayin jima'i tare da abokin tarayya shine samun irin ƙarfin da kuke amfani dashi lokacin farantawa kanku rai..

Ƙarfafa maganata (a zahiri da kwatanci) ƙarfin hali shine gaskiyar cewa yayin da akwai rabe-rabe na jinsi a cikin jima'i, babu irin wannan rata a cikin jima'i-jima'i. Dangane da binciken da wani mashahurin malami ya gudanar, maza da mata suna da irin wannan adadin yawan inzali a lokacin al'aura: 94% ga mata da 98% ga maza.

Babban dalilin da yasa mata ke son jin daɗin jin daɗin jin daɗin jin daɗin rayuwa shine mayar da hankali akan al'aurarsu ta waje-galibi guntun tsawa, amma kuma dodanni, leɓun ciki, da buɗewa ga farji. Lallai, galibin jijiyoyin da mata ke buƙatar isa ga inzali suna a waje da al'aurarsu. Wannan ya bayyana dalilin da yasa a cikin binciken guda ɗaya, kusan kashi 86% na mata sun ba da rahoton mayar da hankali gaba ɗaya akan al'aurar su ta waje yayin jin daɗin kai. Wani 12% kuma ya mai da hankali a waje yayin da wani lokaci ko koyaushe kuma yana sanya wani abu a cikin farjinsu. Kusan kashi 2% ne kawai suka farantawa kansu rai ta hanyar sanya wani abu a cikin farjinsu.

Da yake ƙara rushe wannan, a cikin kashi 98% na matan da suka motsa al'aurarsu ta waje, kashi 73% sun yi hakan yayin da suke kwanciya a kan bayansu, 6% yayin da suke ɗora ƙafafunsu, 4% yayin da suke gogewa da abu mai taushi, 2% ta amfani da gudu ruwa, da kashi 3% ta hanyar shafa cinyoyin su gaba ɗaya.

A haɗe, waɗannan ƙididdigar suna jaddada kalmomin Elisabeth Lloyd:

Abu mafi ban sha’awa game da taba al’aurar mata shine yadda zai iya samar da inzali da kuma ɗan kamannin sa, ta hanyar inji, motsawar da saduwa ke bayarwa.

A gefe guda (ba a yi niyya ba), motsawar da mutum ke samu ta hanyar al'aura da saduwa (gami da ayyukan busawa da ayyukan hannu) duk iri ɗaya ne: suna mai da hankali kan mafi girman abin da ya shafi jima'i, azzakarinsa. A zahiri, yawancin shawarwari na al'aura don maza suna gaya musu su taɓa kansu ta hanyoyin da za su ji kamar azzakarinsu yana cikin farji. Sabanin haka, motsawar da mace ke samu ta hanyar al'aura da saduwa ta sha bamban: al'aura kawai tana mai da hankali kan mafi yawan abubuwan da ke lalata jima'i na waje, gindi. Amma duk da haka, idan tare da maza, mata galibi suna musanya kansu, suna fifita saduwa a maimakon haka.

Lokacin da cis-jinsi mata da maza suka samu, galibi ana ɗaukar ma'amala a matsayin babban abin da ya faru kuma duk wani abin da ke motsa jiki kafin a koma zuwa "foreplay"-ɗumi-ɗumi don shirya matar don yin jima'i. na masu karatu na mujallar Cosmopolitan sun gano cewa yayin saduwar jima'i da ta ƙunshi ma'amala, kashi 78% na matsalolin inzali na mata sun kasance ne saboda rashin isasshen isasshen ko kuma irin ƙarfin motsa jiki.

Don haka, don rufe gibin inzali, muna buƙatar riƙe kwarjinin mahaifa da azzakarin azzakari daidai. Kamar yadda aka ba da shawara a cikin post na na ƙarshe, Yin Jima'i dabam dabam, muna buƙatar maye gurbin daidaitaccen rubutun al'adun mu (gabatarwa na farko, saduwa da inzali na maza, yin jima'i a kan) don ƙarin rubutattun abubuwa na rashin daidaituwa, gami da juyawa ( Ta Shigo Farko , Tazo Na Biyu ) da kuma inda duk abokan haɗin gwiwa ke samun motsawar da suke buƙata yayin aikin jima'i iri ɗaya (misali, mace ta taɓa farjinta a lokacin saduwa; ma'aurata suna amfani da zoben zakkar mai girgizawa tare da haɗe -haɗe na jijiya). Idan kun kasance mace, samun kuzarin da kuke buƙata yana nufin tabbatar da cewa kuna samun irin wannan ƙarfafawa yayin jima'i abokin tarayya wanda ke kawo ku zuwa inzali yayin so-jima'i.

Akwai hanyoyi guda biyu don canja wurin dabarun jin daɗin ku zuwa jima'i da wani. Isaya yana koya wa abokin tarayya abin da kuke so kuma ɗayan yana yin shi da kanku. Koyar da abokin tarayya na iya haɗawa, alal misali, gabatar da su ga mai girgiza ku, nuna musu motsin yatsan da kuka fi so, ko gaya musu abin da ke jin daɗi yayin jima'i ta baki. Yin shi da kanku na iya haifar, alal misali, amfani da hannayenku ko rawar jiki akan kanku yayin saduwa, ko kawo kanku zuwa inzali bayan saduwa yayin da abokin tarayya ke riƙe, sumbata, ko shafar ku.

Muhimmancin Karatun Jima'i

Dalilin Da Ya Sa Kamar Wasu Mutane Suna Jin daɗin Yin Jima'i Fiye Da Ku