Haɗarin Perfectionism a Yara da Matasa

Wadatacce

• Karatun Mahimmancin Kammalawa
• Alamomi guda tara da ba a san su ba na Cikawa

A cikin duniyar da ke cike da cunkoso, yara da matasa suna ci gaba da jujjuya buƙatun masana ilimi, wasanni, abokantaka, kafofin watsa labarun, dangi, da sauran ayyukan karatu. kansu ga gajiya, ƙonawa, ɓacin rai, da damuwa.

Ga wasu yara da matasa, waɗannan buƙatun na iya zama ma fi yawa yayin da sha'awar kamala ke gudana. Don bincika yadda kuma me yasa ƙoƙarin neman kamala zai iya zama illa ga ci gaban yaro da lafiyar hankali, Jessica Naecker, ƙwararren masanin ilimin likitanci na asibiti da ƙwararren masanin ilimin makaranta a Aspiring Families, Center for Mental Health and Wellness, San Diego, ya raba bayanan masu zuwa:

Kammalawa ya zama ruwan dare a cikin rayuwar mu da ta yaran mu, ta yadda neman kamalar kanmu yake jin abin ban mamaki. A zahiri, binciken da aka yi kwanan nan ya gano cewa ƙimar kamala ta ƙaru a tsawon lokaci, yana nuna cewa ƙaramin ƙarnin suna samun tsammanin mafi girma daga wasu kuma suna sanya tsammanin tsammanin kansu fiye da na baya. ¹

Naecker yayi wata muhimmiyar tambaya: "Shin tsammanin kyakkyawan aiki daga kanmu abin damuwa ne?" Don amsa wannan tambayar, ta faɗi mai zuwa: Dole ne mu fahimci bambanci tsakanin lafiya da rashin kamala kamala. Tabbas, sanya babban tsammanin kanmu, ƙoƙarin cimma nasara, da haɓaka tarbiyyar kanmu halaye ne masu dacewa da taimako. Tabbas muna son kanmu da yaran mu su kasance masu himma don cimmawa da nasara a cikin ƙoƙarin mu. Amma mai da hankali kan samun nasara na iya zama matsala lokacin da ta shiga cikin kamala ta rashin lafiya, wanda ya haɗa da tsoron rashin nasara da kurakurai, ƙaƙƙarfan ƙa'idodin da ba daidai ba, da jin cewa aikinmu yana da alaƙa da ma'anar darajarmu.

Brené Brown, mai bincike a Jami'ar Houston, ya ce ya fi kyau:

“Kammala kamala ba shine inganta kai ba. Kammalawa shine, a gindinsa, game da ƙoƙarin samun yarda. Yawancin masu kamala sun girma ana yaba su don samun nasara da aiki (maki, ɗabi'a, bin doka, faranta wa mutane rai, bayyanar, wasanni). Wani wuri a hanya, sun karɓi wannan tsarin imani mai haɗari kuma mai rauni: 'Ni ne abin da na cim ma da yadda na cika shi. Don Allah. Yi. Cikakke. '”²

A cikin binciken tasirin kamala akan ci gaban yara da yadda yake shafar lafiyar hankalinsu, Naecker ya faɗi cewa ba abin mamaki bane, cewa manyan ƙa'idodin mutum da ƙimomin kai masu mahimmanci halayen rashin kamala marasa lafiya. ³ na iya haifar da tarin sakamako mara kyau. Musamman, kammalawa yana da alaƙa da damuwar lafiyar hankali daban-daban da suka haɗa da damuwa, ɓacin rai, cutar da kai, ɓarna mai tilastawa, da rashin cin abinci, da kuma wahalar gaba ɗaya. ⁴ . Kammalawa kuma yana ɗaukar lahani ga lafiyar jikin mu, kuma yana da alaƙa da gajiya ⁵ , rashin barci ⁶ , da ciwon kai na kullum ⁷ .

Sabanin fahimta, rashin kamun kai mara kyau kuma ba a haɗa shi da haɓaka nasarar ilimi ba: gaba ɗaya, yaran da ba su da cikakkiyar lafiya ba a zahiri suna yin kyau a makaranta fiye da takwarorinsu marasa kamala. ⁸ . A taƙaice, farashin kamala na rashin lafiya yana da yawa, kuma fa'idodin kusan babu su.

Yana da mahimmanci cewa a matsayin iyaye, malamai, da ƙwararru, muna taimaka wa yaranmu da matasa tare da raunin kamala. Naecker ya tabbatar mana da cewa duk da cewa kamala ta zama ruwan dare kuma mai ɓarna, akwai abin godiya da yawa da za mu iya yi don taimaka wa yaranmu da kanmu mu guji kamun kai da ɗaukar matsayin da ya dace na cimma nasara. Carol Dweck, fitacciyar mai bincike a Stanford, ta shafe aikinta tana binciken dalili da nasara, kuma sakamakon binciken da ta yi akan tunanin tunani yana ba da hanya gaba.

Naecker ya yi bayanin cewa masu kamala marasa ƙoshin lafiya sun ƙunshi abin da Dweck ke nufin tsayayyen tunani, ko imani cewa an haifi mutum tare da takamaiman, ƙayyadaddun adadin basira da hankali. Musamman, waɗanda ke da madaidaiciyar tunani suna kama da marasa kamala masu ƙoshin lafiya saboda suna guje wa yin kuskure saboda suna fassara kurakurai a matsayin alamun cewa sun kai iyakar ƙarfinsu. Suna kallon ƙoƙari a matsayin rauni (don idan kuna da isasshen hankali ko gwaninta, suna yin tunani, mutum ba zai buƙaci yin ƙoƙari ba), kuma a sakamakon haka, suna tsoron gazawa kuma ba sa son ci gaba da ayyuka masu wahala.

Karatun Mahimmancin Kammalawa

Alamomi guda tara da ba a san su ba na Cikawa