Yarda Ba Yarda Ba: Binciko Iyakokin Ƙalubale

A cikin 'yan shekarun nan, tattaunawa game da "rashin yarda da yarda," ko "CNC," ya zama ruwan dare a duniyar kink da sadomasochism (BDSM). Ra'ayoyin CNC bincike ne na iko, da lalata lalata gaba ɗaya da barin dukkan iko, da sanya kai gaba ɗaya a hannun wani. Duk da yake wannan ra'ayin yana da ban tsoro ga wasu, ga wasu cewa ta'addanci yana fassara zuwa ƙaƙƙarfan ƙazamar sha'awa.

Sadism da masochism suna bayyana mutanen da ke shiga ko dai bayarwa ko karɓar zafi, a matsayin wani ɓangare na repertoire na jima'i. Bincike na zamani yanzu yana ba da shawarar cewa halayen neman farin ciki, haɓakawa, da buɗe ido don ƙwarewa sune mahimman halaye na mutum waɗanda ke jawo mutane su shiga cikin halayen jima'i kamar BDSM (Brown, Barker & Rahman, 2019; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). Kamar yadda wasu mutane ke jan hankalinsu zuwa ga “adrenaline”-irin abubuwan sha'awa irin na sararin samaniya yayin da wasu suka fi son saƙa, wasu mutane suna ɗorawa zuwa halayen jima'i masu motsawa, yayin da wasu suka fi son soyayya mai kawaici.

Halayyar jima'i da ta shafi bugun jini da abubuwan ƙarfi, tashin hankali, ko mamayewa sun zama ruwan dare gama gari kuma ba su da alaƙa da cututtukan cuta ko tashin hankali (misali, Joyal, 2015). Yawanci, a cikin halayen BDSM, akwai mutanen da ke yin manyan halaye, tabbatarwa, tashin hankali, ko halayen ladabi. Ga wasu, mamaye tunanin mutum ko “taken wasan kwaikwayo” babban sashi ne na ƙwarewar, inda ake tilasta mai yin biyayya ya fuskanci matsanancin motsin rai na tsoro, tashin hankali, har ma da ƙyama, yayin da a cikin mahallin amintacce, tattaunawa, da haɗin gwiwa.Yayin da BDSM da CNC galibi galibi ke yin jima'i, waɗannan halayen na iya haɗawa da bincika ikon kawai a wasu lokuta, ba tare da tuntubar juna ba.

Yarda da halayen sadomasochistic yana karɓar kulawar bincike na yanzu (misali, Carvalho, Freitas & Rosa, 2019), kuma akwai samfura daban -daban ko tsarin yarda da aka yi amfani da su a cikin BDSM, gami da: "Amintacce, Sane da Yarjejeniya" , ”“ Kulawa, Sadarwa, Yarda da Hankali, ”da“ Yarjejeniyar da ke Ci gaba ”(Santa Lucia, 2005; Williams, Thomas, Prior & Christensen, 2014). Mutanen da ke shiga cikin BDSM da aka tsara suna da masaniyar abubuwan da ba a yarda da su ba, kuma suna da ƙwarewa a tattaunawar yarda (Misali Dunkley & Brotto, 2019), kodayake cin zarafin yarda da cin zarafin jima'i har yanzu suna faruwa a cikin waɗannan rukunin. "Kalmomin aminci" wani bangare ne na tattaunawar ayyukan BDSM, inda mutane ke gano wata hanya (kalma ko alamar da ba ta magana ba) inda za su kawo ƙarshen ayyukan idan sun shiga damuwa, wanda kuma ya ba su damar cewa "a'a" da tsayayya ko gwagwarmaya , ba tare da ƙare aikin ba.

"Ƙin yarda" ya bayyana shiga cikin halaye waɗanda za su iya haɗawa da rawar da ba a yarda da ita ba, ko kuma ta ƙunshi tattauna halayen jima'i inda abokin tarayya ya yarda ya ba da izini yayin wasu halaye ko alaƙa. Misali, wannan na iya haɗawa da mutane waɗanda ke bayyana wa abokin tarayyarsu ko abokin hulɗarsu da suke fatan yin garkuwa da su da fyaɗe kuma abokan haɗin gwiwar sun yarda da aiwatar da wannan a matsayin "wasan kwaikwayo" a cikin rayuwa ta ainihi, don cika burin da ake so. "CNC" yana bayyana yadda mutane ke yin yarjejeniya da juna a gaba abin da halayen rashin daidaituwa cikin lokaci da wasan kwaikwayo zai ƙunsa. Rashin yarda ba bisa ƙa'ida ba yana wakiltar wani nau'i na mutane waɗanda ke sanya nauyi da iko a hannun wani mutum kuma yana gayyatar su don tura mutum sama da iyakokin su ko ɗaukar alhakin shawo kan matsalolin cikin gida na mai biyayya ga shiga halayen da ake so. Rashin yarda da yarda, a zahiri, yana nuna matsanancin yanayin lalatawar rashin ƙarfi.

Akwai iyakancewar tattaunawa game da CNC a cikin bincike da adabin asibiti. An yi bincike mai zurfi game da "tunanin wasan fyade", tare da bincike ya nuna cewa ya zama ruwan dare gama gari. Nazarin daban-daban sun ba da shawarar cewa tsakanin 30-60% na mata suna ba da rahoton tunanin jima'i na fyade, fyaɗe, ko akasin haka yin jima'i ba tare da son ransu ba, tare da kusan rabin rahoton cewa irin wannan tunanin yana tayar da su kuma yana da kyau a gare su (misali, Bivona & Critelli, 2009) . Akwai ƙaramin bayani game da yadda mata da yawa ke haɗa irin wannan tunanin cikin halayen jima'i a matsayin rawar wasa. Mata da yawa suna fargabar raba irin wannan tunanin na iya haifar da fyade a zahiri, ko ga mutanen da ke gaskata cewa da gaske suna son fuskantar cin zarafin jima'i, wanda ba sa yi (Bivona & Critelli, 2009). Lokacin da ma'aurata ke ƙoƙarin haɗa fantasy rawar-wasa fantasy cikin halayen jima'i, yana iya zama mai rikitarwa, mai kauri, amma galibi yana da sakamako mai kyau. (Johnson, Stewart & Farrow, 2019)

Ƙungiyar Ƙungiyoyin 'Yancin Jima'i ta gudanar da bincike kan mutanen da ke da hannu a cikin BDSM don bincika girman da yanayin ƙeta yarjejeniya tsakanin waɗanda ke yin BDSM. Daga cikin sama da mutane dubu huɗu da suka amsa, 29% sun ba da rahoton tarihin cin zarafin yarda, wanda ya fara daga soyayya da taɓawa zuwa shigar al'aurar da ba ta dace ba. Kashi arba'in sun ba da rahoton cewa sun shiga cikin al'amuran CNC da ɗabi'un son rai, inda "mutum ɗaya ko fiye suka bar haƙƙin janye izini na tsawon lokacin." Daga cikin waɗanda suka tsunduma cikin CNC, kashi 14% ne kawai suka ba da rahoton cewa an keta iyakokin da aka riga aka tattauna dasu a cikin yanayin CNC ko dangantaka, wanda shine rabin ƙimar raunin yarda da aka ruwaito a cikin samfurin. Kashi 22% kawai na mutanen da ke shiga cikin halayen CNC sun ba da rahoton cewa sun sami ƙeta yarjejeniya a kowane lokaci, idan aka kwatanta da 29% na samfurin a manyan. Marubutan sun ba da shawarar cewa "ƙarin tattaunawa da tattaunawar da ake buƙata don shiga cikin CNC ɗaya ce daga cikin maɓallan samun cikakkiyar izini." (Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, 2015., shafi na 20)

Alaƙar “Jagora-bawa” wani tsari ne na al'ada na alaƙar BDSM ba tare da yarda ba, inda mutane ke yin shawarwari kan alaƙar yarda inda abokin tarayya ya ba ɗayan damar sarrafa duk bangarorin rayuwarsa. Dangantakar ubangiji da bawa ba kasafai ake samun ta ba, amma akwai, kuma Dancer, Kleinplatz, da Moser ne suka yi nazarin su a 2013. Sun gano cewa ta hanyar haɗa abubuwan yau da kullun na rayuwar yau da kullun kamar ayyukan gida da ayyukan yau da kullun a cikin ikon bambancin rayuwarsu, mahalarta sun faɗaɗa iyakokin sha'awar BDSM fiye da ayyukan jima'i kawai. Kodayake akwai tsinkaye da manufa na "mika kai gabaɗaya," "bayi" waɗanda suka yi yarjejeniya da rashin yarda da juna har yanzu suna amfani da 'yancin zaɓe lokacin da suke buƙata don amfanin su. Kimanin rabin “bayi” a cikin wannan binciken sun bayyana cewa sun riga sun ƙaddara duk wani ikon ƙin umarni daga ubangijinsu, da zarar sun shiga alakar su. Kashi saba'in da huɗu na “bayi” sun ba da rahoton cewa sun tsunduma cikin halayen da a baya suke ganin ba za su iya yiwuwa ba, saboda ubangijinsu ya '' ture su ''.

Rashin yarda da juna, alaƙar maigida, fatar rawar rawar fyade, da BDSM gabaɗaya sune ɓangarorin mashahuran tattaunawar kan layi a cikin kafofin watsa labarun kan layi. Abin takaici, kamar komai akan layi, waɗannan tattaunawar na iya haɗawa da mummunan bayanai ko kuskure kamar yadda suke yin lafiya ko ingantattun ra'ayoyi da kayan aiki. Likitocin jinya da likitocin asibiti kamar ni kaina suna yawan haɗuwa da mutanen da bayanin su game da yadda ake shiga BDSM, CNC, ko madadin ayyukan jima'i ya fito gaba ɗaya daga tushen kan layi, kuma yana ƙunshe da babban abin zargi da rashin lafiya ko bayanai.

Fahimtar asibiti da kimiyya game da yaɗuwa, yanayi, da ilimin ilimin dabi'a na ayyukan jima'i ba tare da yarda ba yana cikin ƙuruciyarsa. Bincike da aikin asibiti game da waɗannan batutuwa suna gudana, amma wannan yanki na halayen jima'i shima yana haɓaka yayin da yake girma, yana sa ya zama ƙalubale don cikakken fahimta ko tsarin. A bayyane yake cewa mutane da yawa suna mamakin kasancewa cikin yanayin jima'i inda ba za su iya tserewa ko kawo ƙarshen ƙwarewar ba. Mutane kalilan ne ke aiwatar da irin waɗannan halayen a rayuwa ta ainihi ta hanyar wasan kwaikwayo, idan aka kwatanta da hasashe, duk da cewa yana da wuya yin hakan. Anyi tare da yarda, sanin kai, tattaunawa, da sadarwa, ya bayyana cewa haɗa ayyukan rashin yarda a cikin halayen jima'i na iya zama lafiya da gamsar da yanayin jima'i ga wasu mutane, yana ba su damar faɗaɗa iyakokin jima'i.

Dunkley, C. & Brotto, L. (2019) Matsayin yarda a cikin mahallin BDSM. Cin Duri da Jima'i, DOI: 10.1177/1079063219842847

Johnson, Stewart & Farrow (2019) Fantasy na Fyade na Mata: Ra'ayin Ra'ayin Ka'idoji da Ra'ayin Asibiti don Sanar da Aiki, Jaridar Ma'aurata & Farkon Ciki, DOI: 10.1080/15332691.2019.1687383

Santa Lucia (2005). Yarda mai gudana. A cikin Dokar Jima'i, Littattafan Rubutu na Carceral, Vol 1. Akwai shi a: Littafin Rubutu na Carceral - Mujalladi na 1 (thecarceral.org)

Williams, Thomas, Prior & Christensen, (2014). Daga "SSC" da "RACK" zuwa "4Cs": Gabatar da sabon Tsarin don Tattaunawar BDSM. Littafin Lantarki na Jima'i na Mutum, Juzu'i na 17, Yuli 5, 2014

Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, (2015). Binciken Binciken Rikici, Rahoton Fasaha. Akwai shi a: Survey Consensus Survey (ncsfreedom.org)