Nasihu 6 don Yadda ake Sarrafa Fushi a cikin Dangantakarku

Wadatacce

• Muhimmiyar Karatu
• Sarrafa Fushi: Tukwici, Dabaru, da Kayan aiki

Fushi ya zama ruwan dare a cikin alaƙa, musamman alaƙar soyayya, amma kuma abota da alaƙar dangi. Duk da yaduwarsa, ba koyaushe muke fahimtar ainihin yanayin wannan motsin karfi ko yadda yake tasiri ga ƙaunatattunmu ba. Fahimtar yadda fushi ke nunawa a cikin alaƙa zai iya taimakawa samun fahimtar yadda za a magance fushin ku da kyau, ko tsayawa ga abokin hamayya, aboki, ko memba na iyali.

Fushi yana zuwa iri -iri. Ba duk nau'o'in wannan motsin rai suke da manufa ba. Misali, takaici tare da kwamfutar tafi-da-gidanka da fushin da ke yawo kyauta wanda ke da alaƙa da baƙin ciki ba shi da manufa. Duk da cewa fushin da ba shi da manufa na iya haifar da matsala a dangantaka, rikice -rikice da ke tasowa daga irin wannan fushin sau da yawa ana sauƙaƙe su.

Ba kamar fushi mara manufa ba, fushin abokan gaba na iya haifar da manyan matsalolin dangantaka, saboda yana da alaƙa da lissafi da zargi. A cikin mafi munin yanayinsa, ana kuma kiran fushin maƙiya da "fushi" ko "fushi." Irin fushin ƙiyayya da ke wucewa da sauri sau da yawa yana ɗaukar siffar fushin da ta dace ko ta ɓarke.

Yadda fushin ɗan gajeren lokaci yake tasiri ga dangantaka ya dogara da yawaita da kuma tsananin fushi. Yawan yawan tashin hankali da ake yi akai-akai wani nau'i ne na zage-zage, na motsa jiki, ko na zahiri. Sun hada da ihu, kiran suna, raini, barazana, bugun bango, bugun kofa, jifa da abu, da bugawa, da sauran halaye.

Amma ba dukan fushi ba ne na ɗan lokaci. Fushi wani lokaci yana dawwama saboda ba a taɓa fuskantar wasu batutuwan dangantaka da warware su ba. Lokacin da fushi ya dawwama, yana zama fushi ko fushi.

Ƙiyayya da fushi sukan daɗe fiye da ɗan gajeren fushi. Suna iya ɗaukar tsawon makonni ko watanni a ƙarshen, wataƙila ma shekaru - kasancewa mafi yawan ɓoye a ƙarƙashin mayafin rashin sani, amma lokaci -lokaci suna shiga tare da ku.

A cikin fushi da hasala, muna mayar da martani ga zaluncin da ake gani. A cikin bacin rai, muna ɗaukar maƙasudin fushin mu don yin zalunci na kanmu. Yawanci yana tasowa a cikin alaƙa lokacin da muke tsammanin ɗayan ya yi mana wani abin da ba daidai ba ko rashin adalci a gare mu - wani abu da ba kawai sa ido ba ne. Misali, idan abokin ku na kusa bai gayyace ku zuwa bikin auren su ba, duk da gayyatar kusan dukkan abokan da suka sani, hakan na iya haifar da bacin rai na dindindin ga abokin ku.

Fushi, ko abin da muke kira wani lokaci “hasala,” shine analog mai nuna bacin rai. Lokacin da kake fushi, abin da ya shafe ka shine rashin adalcin da aka yi wa wani - wataƙila rashin adalci na zamantakewa. Kodayake fushi na iya faruwa saboda kyawawan dalilai, wannan nau'in fushin na iya yin illa ga dangantakar mu, idan ba a bayyana ko gudanar da shi daidai ba.

Misali, zaku iya jin haushi kan koyon cewa mahaifiyar ku - wacce darakta ce ta R&D a cikin babban kamfani - kawai ta karɓi haɓaka kashi 50, duk da sanin cewa kamfanin da take aiki na kwanan nan ya bar ma'aikata 200 su tafi. Fushin da kuke fuskanta a cikin wannan yanayin zai iya sa ku sauƙi ku ɗauki mahaifiyarku a matsayin mugun mutum, wataƙila ta canza ƙiyayyarku zuwa ƙiyayya ko raina ƙasa. Ƙiyayya mai zurfi ga mahaifiyarka na iya zama ma farkon ƙarshen dangantakar ku ta kusa.

Ciwon zuciya mai zurfi da hasala na iya haifar da cin mutunci, musamman halaye masu wuce gona da iri, kamar jiyya ta shiru, yin magana cikin lambobin, ƙoƙarin samun tausayi, mantuwa mai ɗorewa, ko ɓacin rai, don suna kaɗan.

Ta yaya za mu sarrafa da warware matsalolin fushi a cikin dangantaka? Ga wasu nasihu.

Muhimmiyar Karatu

Sarrafa Fushi: Tukwici, Dabaru, da Kayan aiki